Light in Darkness
by lizzieten
Summary: After Alec and Magnus break up, Alec is severely injured. the only one that can save him is Magnus will he come or will he let Alec be lost forever? Hurt Alec
1. Chapter 1

Light in Darkness

Alec watched as Magnus turned and left, he released the breath he had been holding. He hadn't wanted their relationship to end. In all honesty he hadn't even thought about the consequences of his actions. Somehow though he should have known this would happen. Everyone he cared for eventually left him anyways so why should Magnus be any different. Swallowing his pain Alec started for home all he wanted in that moment was to be in his room hiding his misery from the rest of the planet.

"I'm so sorry" Alec whispered to Magnus' retreating back words couldn't express just how badly he felt about his actions and not trusting Magnus enough. Tears welled up in his eyes and he struggled not to release them, he wouldn't show the world his pain. It was something he was good at, hiding how he truly felt. "Come back" Alec whispered knowing full well that Magnus wouldn't hear or if he did he wouldn't listen.

Alec closed his eyes so he would get the image of Magnus with his back turned to him out of his head. However the image seemed to only intensify in his mind, making the pain even worse. He had never thought he could feel this way about anyone and yet here he felt like his world was crashing down as he watched the love of his life walk away.

He walked slowly as if each step would somehow drain the agony out of his heart. He felt like the world's biggest jerk and knew that Magnus was right to hate him. He had always considered Jace the self-destructive one maybe Alec was too. It seemed he had done everything possible to destroy love he'd shared with Magnus. Sighing, and knowing that his thoughts weren't really helping, he shoved his hands in his pockets. And not noticing the two greater demons that were trailing him.

It was only when he'd felt a sharp pain rip through his back that he knew he was in serious trouble. He groaned and reached for a seraph blade but as his fingers crossed the handle, more claws dugs into his skin.

He screamed in agony as he fell to his knees from the way things were looking he wasn't going to come out of this one alive. Another demon reached for him but somehow through the pain Alec was able to reach his blade and he stabbed it deep into the demons arms. He forced himself to get back to his feet; he hoped that Jace could sense that something was wrong through their Parabatai bond. Otherwise he would be murdered where he stood. One greater demon he could take on by himself possibly, two he stood next to no chance whatsoever.

Sure enough several minutes later Jace appeared with Isabelle all decked out in their Shadowhunter gear. Alec had just managed to avoid another swipe of the demons claws when Jace attacked heading straight for the heart. Once Jace and Isabelle appeared defeating the demons wasn't as hard.

Alec stood panting agony rushing through his body, as blood ran down his back. He knew the demon's poison was probably slowly making its way to his heart at that moment. The pain of the poison however wasn't enough to dull the pain in his heart. He could still see Magnus turning his back and walking away.

"I'm tired of being your pet warlock, don't come look for me" the words caused Alec's heart to hurt even worse and as the fight came winding down, he felt himself drop to his knees again. _I deserve this_ he thought as he finally collapsed unconscious on the ground.

Jace had just finished the last demon off when he saw his best friend lying crumpled on the ground.

"Alec" he shouted and raced to his side. He looked bad. His back had been sliced to ribbons and blood was gushing from the wounds. The sight made Jace sick to his stomach Alec was a great Shadowhunter so how the hell had this happened to him? What could have distracted him so greatly that it could cost him his life?

Jace reached into his pocket and grabbed his stele. He didn't know how much healing he'd be able to do but he had to do something until they could get him back to the Institute. Jace quickly drew an iratze on Alec's shoulder but too his surprise nothing happened.

"I know it's next to useless on demon poison but the wounds in his back should at least heal" Jace said wondering what the hell was going on. Isabelle watched frantic.

"We're going to have to get him back to the Institute; he won't last much longer in the shape he's in." Jace said as he tried to draw another healing rune with the same effect.

"Where's Magnus when you need him" he muttered as stood, he hated having to hurt Alec but in order to help him this had to happen. He bent down and grabbed one Alec's arms and tossed it over his shoulder, Isabelle done the same, worrying shining in her eyes.

"We're going to save him" Jace told her firmly "Alec won't give up without a fight."

"I hope not" she whispered as a tear dropped from her eye. "He's the only big brother I have, I can't just replace him." after that nothing else was said until they walked through the doors of the institute. Clary had just been walking out when she ran into Jace and Isabelle carrying Alec.

"What happened?" she asked alarmed she had never before seen Alec so bad, it was worse than the first time he'd been attacked by a demon.

"Another demon attack" Jace grunted as they made it into the infirmary. "We need help he got a pretty large dose of demon poison. I need you to find Magnus for me" Jace told Clary. He would have done it himself but by the time Magnus was brought back here he wasn't so sure that Alec would still be alive, he couldn't let his best friend go without being by his side.

"I'll do whatever I can" Clary said as she rushed out the door. She hoped she could make it to Magnus in time but she wasn't so sure that was going to be possible. Thirty minutes later she arrived at his apartment. Knocking on the door she waited nervously for him to answer. When he did she was surprised to see how angry he was.

"I thought I told Alec to tell his friends to stay away" he snapped clearly not pleased to see her.

"It's Alec.." she started but Magnus turned away.

"I don't want to hear it" he said "I don't ever want to hear anything about him or his friends again." Clary stared after him why the hell was he acting like this? Alec's life was on the line didn't he care?

"He's…" she started to say dying but was viscously cut off.

"I said I didn't want to hear it, now get out of here and don't come back." That being said Magnus slammed the door in her face. Clary stared she couldn't believe it. He was willing to let Alec die; she had never thought that would be possible. Something had happened between the two of them, something that wasn't good at all. Jace wasn't going to be very happy with this turn of events she thought as she turned and started walking away, not seeing the person looking out the window through the curtain.

Hope you liked it, if you want some more let me know. Thanks for reading Liz.


	2. Chapter 2

Light in Darkness

Chapter 2

Clary was feeling very depressed by the time she returned to the Institute. She had no idea how she was going to explain to Jace that Magnus refused to come. She didn't understand how Magnus could leave Alec like this no matter what had happened between them. It seemed kind of cruel to her that he'd just let him die. She wondered if Magnus had ever really cared about Alec.

She sighed as she walked into the elevator and pressed the up button. She got more nervous as she approached the floor they would be on. She knew how Jace felt about Alec, as both a friend and brother and she worried what her news would do to him. she didn't think he'd take it very well. She couldn't blame him for that, she'd probably be upset too.

Once she reached the room, she paused for a moment and took a deep breath and then entered the room.

"About time" Jace said and turned towards Clary but was surprised to see that she was alone.

"What the hell Clary I told you to go get Magnus" he growled unhappy that Magnus wasn't here.

"He refused to come" Clary said looking down at the floor "He wouldn't even listen to me when I tried to explain it."

"Then you should have made him listen" Jace shouted angrily turning towards her "He's going to die because you didn't stick around to make sure he came."

"It's not my fault apparently they got into it before this happened" Clary said clearly frustrated and unhappy about being yelled at.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" Jace said glaring at Clary. Clary felt uncomfortable under his glare it felt like he truly was blaming her for Alec's current condition.

"Try to find another warlock I guess" she said "I don't know" she hated not having the answers that Jace needed. She hated seeing Alec bathed in sweat, struggling to breathe, knowing that there was only so much time before the poison would win the war it fought inside his body.

Jace glared at Clary every emotion he felt showing on his face. Clary hated that he was angry with her especially when this whole situation wasn't her fault but there wasn't any way she could explain that to Jace right now. Swallowing hard, Clary approached the bed on which Alec was currently fighting for his life.

"I'm going to try to find you some help" she said softly as she reached out and gently stroked his face. She hated seeing him so helpless. It was just the opposite of the Alec she had come to know and care for. "I won't rest until we figure out a way to help you." she reached down and grabbed his hand and gently squeezed it, not liking the moan that came from his lips.

"You're hurting him" Jace snapped moving forward to remove Clary from Alec's beside.

"I am not" she said "It's the poison hurting him not me." But she moved away from the bed. Jace had danger emanating from every pore on his body and she didn't want to mess with him. She didn't like seeing him this way but she knew how much Jace cared for Alec so she didn't really blame him.

Isabelle watched silently the scene going on front of her. She knew Jace was worried about Alec but that didn't give him permission to treat his own girlfriend like he was and she was about to say something. Jace always had the habit of destroying his relationships with girls; she hated to see him destroy this one. Clary was the best thing that had happened to him in years.

"Do you not want me to be here?" Clary asked quietly though she didn't know why he wouldn't. They had been through a lot together over the past several months. Then again this probably could have been considered private.

"No" Jace replied his voice harsh. He couldn't explain why he didn't want her there; she had more than earned her place amongst them. He just couldn't deal with her and Alec's condition, and right now Alec needed his attention more than she did.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't be here" she demanded refusing to show her hurt. "I've been fighting with you guys for a while now."

"And your still next to useless" he shouted "Don't you get it? YOU are NOT needed, not if you can't even bring someone back to help!"

"I done told you he wouldn't listen to me" she said scowling, she didn't know what his problem was, but he was getting on her nerves. She cared about what happened to Alec to but apparently Jace couldn't see past what only what he cared about. Jace rolled his eyes and turned back to Alec who had begun groaning in earnest.

"You don't want me here then fine, but don't think about calling me if you need something" Clary snapped and turned and walked out of the room slamming the door behind her. She was so angry she couldn't speak, as she stormed out of the institute she ran into Magnus who was standing at the door staring.

"What's wrong with Alec?" he asked as she nearly walked right past him.

"Why don't you ask his bodyguard" she snapped and continued walking down the road. Magnus frowned. Whatever it was wasn't good, not if she was that angry at Jace. Sighing, though his heart still ached at what Alec had been attempting to do. He wondered if he could really leave Alec to die. He closed his eyes remembering their first kiss, the first time they'd made love. He'd had a lot of good memories with Alec and just because he was upset with him didn't mean he should let him die. Magnus deciding what he was going to do took a deep breath and then entered the building. He made his was up to the infirmary silently.

Once he was at the door he opened the door and stepped in. he was shocked to say the least. Alec was much worse than he had thought he was. He was writhing in agony on the bed, his hands clenched into tight fists as he fought against the pain. Magnus swallowed hard as he took in Alec's sweat covered forehead, what bothered him the most though was the amount of blood covering the bed.

"I told you I didn't want you here" Jace snapped turning towards the door thinking Clary had returned.

"You had better want me here if you want him to live" Magnus said shortly as quickly crossed the room to the bed.

"Have you not tried healing him?" he demanded to know.

"More than once, it's not doing anything." Jace replied. Magnus frowned he'd never heard of the runes not working.

"It's a wonder he's still alive at the rate he's still bleeding" Magnus muttered his heart twisted as he heard the boy gasping for air, his body twisted in pain. He had never wanted to see him like this in fact it was like a knife to his heart. He didn't know if he could help him but he was certainly going to try.

Magnus took a deep breath and placed his hands on Alec's back. The poison was what concerned him most, but if they didn't get the bleeding in control, the poison wouldn't matter. Alec cried out in pain as Magnus' magic took hold and slowly started healing the wounds. Alec moaned again as the magic sent pain coursing through him adding to what he was already feeling because of the poison.

"Hang on Alec" Magnus muttered "I'm not letting you go that easily."


	3. Chapter 3

Light in Darkness

Magnus leaned over Alec, forcing power through his finger tips and onto ripped apart skin. He hated hurting him but this was to save his life so he'd do whatever was possible. Eventually the bleeding came to a slow stop and Magnus was able to concentrate on the poison. Alec gave a sharp cry of pain as he started trying to remove it. But to his surprise the poison wasn't going anywhere.

"It would seem that I am unable to remove the poison" Magnus said leaning back.

"How is this any different from any other greater demon?" Jace asked even more worried for the one he called brother.

"I don't know" Magnus replied "but I do know that it's slow acting so we bought some time to figure it out." he bother mentioning that Alec would probably be in excruciating pain until a cure was found. He wished he could do something about that but he wasn't sure how. None of his magic seemed to working on healing the damage on the inside of him. He didn't completely understand why he wasn't healing? Was it because he had hurt him badly enough emotionally that Alec didn't want to live? He hoped not. Whatever problems they had Magnus didn't want him to die. Especially over someone like him.

"If you die I'll never forgive you" Magnus muttered as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Exhausted but unwilling to leave Alec alone; He reached out and touched Alec's forehead with the back of his hand. He didn't like how hot it was and he wondered if it was normal to run fevers when one had been poisoned by a demon.

"You might want to go get me a cool rag" Magnus told Jace who left immediately to do as told. Once he was gone Magnus turned to the silent Isabelle.

"Want to tell me why Clary left more than a little pissed off?" he asked.

"Jace lost it and told her off, more or less blamed her for this whole situation." She said quietly. "It's not her fault it's ours." She frowned thinking of ways that it could have been her fault.

"So he more or less destroyed his relationship because of a situation that wasn't her fault." She nodded but moved closer to Alec. She hated seeing him like this. She wished she could trade places with him, he didn't deserve this. She reached down and grabbed his hand.

"We should have been there with him then maybe this wouldn't have happened." She said softly tears forming in her eyes again.

"It's not your fault" Magnus said "It's mine if I hadn't turned my back on him then he'd be just fine." The guilt hit him hard then as he realized he'd played a major part in this happening. He should have come when they'd first asked then maybe Alec wouldn't be as bad off as he was now. Magnus closed his eyes as he remembered the words he'd told Alec. He'd heard Alec tell him to come back but he'd kept walking. Had the attack happened right after that? The thought made him sick to his stomach. If he had stuck around he could have prevented this from happening in the first place.

"You didn't know it was going to happen" Isabelle said quietly. "You're not a fortune teller."

"Maybe if I hadn't broken up with him then I could have somehow prevented it. I wouldn't have left him alone." Magnus said as Jace returned with the rag he'd asked for. Taking it from Jace, Magnus gently wiped Alec's face and neck off.

"You broke up with him?" Isabelle asked surprise in her voice. She had never thought about the possibilities of the two of them breaking up.

"Yes" I said feeling even guiltier "I won't get into over what because that's just between us but I did and because I hurt him I don't think he wants to live."

"That's crap" Jace said "He loved you so why would he give up the chance to see you even if you're not together."

"That's just my theory" Magnus said as Alec groaned and his body twisted in agony again "I don't know if it's the truth but it fits."

"No, it doesn't" Jace said "Alec wouldn't just give up because the one he loved most in the world dumped him." Magnus closed his eyes, Jace's words sending more pain straight through his heart like a sharpened arrow. He stood and swallowing hard.

"I can't be here right now" he said and headed straight for the door.

"What about helping him" Jace shouted confused as to why Magnus had walked out.

"I've done what I could for him" Magnus replied his pain clear in his voice. "The rest is up to him."

"He needs you" Isabelle said not seeing the tears that had formed and slid silently down Magnus' face. "If you say he doesn't want to live because of what happened between you two, then wouldn't you think by being here it would encourage him to live?"

"I don't like seeing him suffer" Magnus said softly "it hurts me to watch him hurt and not be able to do anything about it." he swallowed hard trying to swallow past the pain that had formed. "I don't want to abandon him but at the same time I can't see him suffer."

Isabelle walked over and gently placed her hand on his shoulder.

"We don't blame you for what happened, that responsibility falls on Jace and mine's shoulders. Please stay for Alec" she said softly "He desperately needs you right now." Magnus closed his eyes the pain the other two were feeling was pretty obvious and it only added to what Magnus felt. Even then at that moment Alec cried out in agony and then something unexpected happened.

"Magnus" fell from an unconscious Alec's lips and Magnus turned to look over him. He didn't look any better and the poison was still wreaking havoc within his system but just those words seemed to fill Magnus' heart with hope. Jace and Isabelle didn't have to beg. He didn't think anything could have moved him from that room after that. He crossed the room again and sat back down on the bed.

"We should probably get some research on poison done" Magnus commented. "Even if he's trying to give up, we should try to find something to counteract the poison in his system."

"On it" Isabelle said leaving the room.

"You should probably talk to Clary" Magnus told Jace, who for once at least looked ashamed.

"She won't talk to me" he replied sure of his answer. He had hurt her pretty badly so he knew she wouldn't talk to him.

"Would you rather something like this happen to her?" Magnus asked nodding towards Alec. "We had a fight and now I don't know if he's going to live or not. Do you really want to find yourself in that same position, wondering if there was something you could have done differently to avoid the current outcome." Jace frowned he hadn't really thought about it.

Before he could even turn for the door though Isabelle came through the door with a worried expression on her face "It's Clary" She exclaimed "she's in the hospital, apparently she was very badly beaten, though it looks like she fought back but wasn't strong enough."

Jace stared at her in shock. How the hell had things gotten so bad so quickly.

"I have the feeling there's something you're not saying" Magnus said looking over at her.

"She's been raped." Isabelle said quietly fearing Jace's reaction. Jace closed his eyes and clenched his hands into fists. He had never wanted her to be hurt but apparently that's all he was good for; hurting those he loved the most.

"Do they know who did it?" he asked his voice deadly calm but on the inside he was quaking with anger.

"No" Isabelle replied "and she can't tell them either because she's apparently in really bad shape." She hated seeing the pain her words caused but Jace needed to know the truth.

"I'm going to find them and murder them" Jace said storming out of the room. Magnus and Isabelle glanced at each other. She was worried about Alec but Jace needed to be watched too.

"I'll stay with Alec you go see Clary" Magnus said feeling bad for Jace. Once they were gone Magnus turned back to Alec.

"See what you're missing" he said softly as he pushed Alec over and climbed into bed with him. "You have to be okay! I need the chance to apologize." He closed his eyes and pulled Alec closer. "Please don't leave me."


	4. Chapter 4

Light in Darkness

Chapter four

Magnus wasn't sure what it was that woke him but he immediately sensed that something was opened his eyes looking around the room for any kind of danger. Though he knew the Institute was pretty well guarded and nobody got in without permission of the Lightwoods. Still there wasn't anything around that even hinted at danger, yet Magnus still had the feeling that something was wrong. He looked down at Alec who was once again moaning in pain, but Magnus noticed something that had changed from the time he'd laid down with Alec. His breathing was a whole lot shallower and coming out in sharp gasps. That could mean only one thing: Death wasn't far off. Magnus sat up in the bed and placed his hands on Alec's chest and forced magic through his fingers. He wasn't going to lose Alec like this not if he had anything to do about it.

"Hang on Alec" he whispered as he struggled against the panic in his chest. This was happening too fast they hadn't had the time to even find a cure for him. Not to mention the crisis with Clary. No one had the time to search for the answers Alec needed. Tears started to fill Mangus' eyes as he felt Alec's heartbeat start to falter.

"You can't do this to me" Magnus cried out "You don't have the right to die on me. Don't you know how much I love you and need you? Please just fight for me" He wasn't a bit ashamed of begging, he knew most people would think it was unmanly but he didn't care. The only person he cared about would soon take his last breath and it was all his fault.

"Please Alec just stay with me, I love you that will never change. I'll do anything you want, be anybody you want if you just stay with me." None of this seemed to getting through to the unconscious man lying on the bed. Magnus laid his head over on Alec's chest, listening to the slowing heartbeat. Tears dripped down Magnus' face and onto the chest that was serving as his pillow. "Please" he whispered "Don't do this, I can't stand to be in a world that you're not in." He went silent then just listening to the heart that meant the world to him. He wasn't sure what he would do if Alec died. Just thinking about the words he'd said how he had broken Alec's heart before this had the demons know somehow that Alec had been vulnerable? Did they attack him because of what Magnus had done?

"Is this your way of getting back at me?" Magnus said softly as he tears began to come to an end. He remained where he was lying on Alec's chest. "Because if it is it sucks. I want to apologize but I can't do that without looking into your gorgeous eyes, so please don't quit on me." Magnus closed his eyes trying to get a handle on the agony twisting through his own heart.

All of a sudden the door was thrown open and Jace and Isabelle entered the room. They stopped and stared when they noticed that Alec was still unconscious and he appeared to be even paler than he had been when they'd left. All thoughts of their other situation forgotten as they made their way to his bed.

"I don't think it's going to be much longer now" Magnus said the pain in his voice obvious.

"He has to make it" Isabelle said as she sat down beside Magnus and grabbed Alec's hand in her own. "He won't give up, he's much too strong willed to give up so easily." Jace said nothing he just stared at his best friend unsure of how he should react. He'd already dealt with so much pain in that one day alone he wasn't sure how much more he could handle.

"I don't think he exactly has a choice Iz" Jace said softly finally breaking out of his stupor. "I don't think he wants to go but the poison is working against him."

"Alec can't die" she said tears filling her eyes "He doesn't know how much I love him" she closed her eyes as a wave of grief struck hard. Jace swallowed down his own pain and reached out and squeezed her shoulder.

"He knows Iz he knows how much we love him, he wouldn't do this intentionally, I don't care how much you hurt him" he meant Magnus and he knew it. Of course Magnus had hurt Alec badly when he had broken up with him had Magnus known that this was going to happen he wouldn't have done it. He didn't care what Jace said this was his fault and his fault only.

"Are we just supposed to let him die?" Isabelle asked "are we willing to let him die without doing anything?"

"You know we tried everything we could think and nothing has worked" Jace said "Other than trying the Silent Brother's but I don't think they'll get here in time."

"You're right they wouldn't get here in time" Magnus said softly as he raised his head up from Alec's chest. "His hearts continuing to slow down, the poison is starting to reach it." Jace closed his eyes at the words. How had his day gone so wrong in the space of a few hours? Was he somehow bad luck? It made sense everyone around him was getting hurt, Alec dying, his girlfriend getting raped after getting into it with him. Was he somehow the cause of all this? Opening his eyes he looked down at Alec. His best friend was making soft moans of pain. He almost wished he was gone so that he wouldn't have to suffer anymore. Then again that almost seemed too cruel to even think. Who could wish their best friend dead no matter what circumstances they were in. Jace didn't want to think about life without Alec. Who would he argue with? Who could he go all out in a fight during training? Isabelle wasn't exactly willing to fight him. Not all out anyways.

"How's Clary?" Magnus asked breaking the silence. Jace sighed.

"Not good, but she'll live, she doesn't have any demon poison in her blood to kill her." He didn't want to mention that she looked pretty bad, whomever had beaten her had done quite a job on her. Her face had been so swollen that he could barely recognize her. Whoever had done it, one thing was certain, they had hated her. He wondered briefly who could hurt someone as kind as Clary but then again he didn't really know that much about her before she got involved with the Shadowhunting business.

"I think right now though" Jace said slowly "that we should concentrate on Alec. He's the one in danger of dying, there is time enough for us to worry about her later." Isabelle looked up at him through her red eyes.

"Who are you and what did you do with Jace Wayland?" she asked "The Jace I know would always be concerned about her."

"People change in situations where their family is DYING" Jace snapped irritated that she was questioning him at that moment. She sighed and shook her and then turned back to Alec. His breathing was slowing, making everyone in the room hurt in a way they had never hurt before. They watched as Alec's chest gave one more heave and then was still.

"Alec" Isabelle cried as she launched herself at him "No, please stay with us" she begged "Stay with me, whose going to teach me to be a better Shadowhunter" Tears streamed down her face in a steady downpour. Her sobs were heart wrenched as she leaned over and gently touched Alec's face. Magnus had turned away but it was clear from his shaking shoulders that he was sobbing. No one had thought Alec would actually die, the kid was far too stubborn but apparently the poison had been too much for him to handle.

Jace turned away from the scene in front of him, the pain was almost more then he could bear. He wished in that moment that he could trade places with him, he would in a heartbeat, everyone else needed Alec more than him. He wondered if it would be possible to trade his life for Alec's. It was something he was going to find out, he wasn't going to let Alec stay dead, not if he could help it.

"_I'm so sorry man, if I had been a better friend, a better Parabatai then maybe this wouldn't have happened." _Jace thought as he struggled with his own pain. They needed him right now but he couldn't get near that bed, couldn't get close to his dead best friend. He was afraid if he got close he was going to break, he didn't need to do that not right now. Not around anyone anyways. Feeling like he was going suffocate Jace headed for the door, He had no intention of leaving the house but he needed to get out of that room, before his heart completely exploded on him. _"I'm going to fix this" _he thought one way or the other. Magnus and Isabelle wouldn't have to suffer for long. He would make sure of that. Izzy deserved her older brother, especially, after having lost Max not all that long ago. He exited the room and shut the door behind him, leaning against it he closed his eyes and tried not to think about the good times they had shared.

NOT a deathfic. Please understand that I will not leave him dead for long. Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	5. Chapter 5

Light in Darkness

Chapter five

Magnus stared at Alec's limp body; he couldn't believe what he was seeing. This was his fault, if he hadn't said those words, then maybe he could have somehow have saved Alec from this trouble. He could have saved Izzy and Jace from this heartache. Magnus sighed, and leaned over and ran his fingers through the limp strands of Alec's hair.

"I'm so, so, sorry" Magnus mumbled, "I should have been there for you instead of being angry at you. You shouldn't have had to die." Magnus swallowed the tears in his throat. He couldn't stay in this room anymore. The pain was about to suffocate him, he couldn't deal with. The High warlock of Brooklyn couldn't deal with the loss of someone so precious to him. He'd lived for centuries, one would think that he had grown accustomed to seeing those he loved die. No matter, this was one loss that he had been totally unprepared for. Magnus wasn't sure how he would ever recover from this. He loved Alec desperately; he would never have wished something like this on him. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He couldn't look at what was left of Alec anymore. He had caused his lover's death; it wasn't right for him to be here anymore.

"I'm sorry" Magnus said again speaking to the quietly sobbing Isabelle "This is entirely my fault." He turned and walked out of the room. He nearly ran right into Jace who was leaning against the wall, running his hands through his hair. Tears silently streaking down his face, a sharp pain went through Magnus' heart; he had thoroughly hurt the entire Lightwood family, without even meaning too.

"I'm going to make this right" Magnus spoke quietly; unsure of whether or not Jace had actually heard him, he wasn't so sure how he was going to fix it but he was going too.

"How can this be fixed?" Jace said "No one can come back from death."

"I'll find a way" Magnus said "even if it kills me, myself."

"He wouldn't want you to die so that he could live" Jace said, finally looking up at Magnus.

"He doesn't deserve to die either" Magnus said before walking away. He was already thinking of favors owed to him, from other warlocks. No downworlder he thought of could possibly have any answer to this though.

He made his way out of the institute and headed down the street. He stared down at the ground, his thoughts troubled. Alec shouldn't have had to die from demon poison, Shadowhunter's should have been able to fix this but they couldn't why? There had to have been something different about this demon. Magnus only wished he knew what it was. He wished he could have found the answer before Alec had taken his last breath. He would still have to hurry to see if he could find one before Alec was giving a Shadowhunter's funeral. Which didn't give him much time at all; if nothing else he would find a demon and see if he couldn't trade his life for Alec's. No matter what Jace said Alec would survive without him, he would eventually be able to find another lover.

Magnus had made his way back to his apartment and had wondered into his library and was currently searching for clues through his many books. He had just found a chapter on bringing someone back from the dead. He sighed, after reading it. in order to bring Alec back someone else had to die and it wasn't likely to be the person who attempted the ritual, Magnus was more than willing to trade his life, but there was no way of knowing who the ritual chose. Sighing, Magnus climbed to his feet, he was going to do the ritual, and hope that no one he knew was chosen to be the sacrifice. After he had sat up the ritual, he said the words; he hoped that Alec forgave him for what he was doing. He wasn't going to live without him, not if he didn't have to.

After the ritual was complete, Magnus stared at the pentagram he had drawn on his floor. He shouldn't have felt guilty, not if it brought Alec back. He couldn't help but think of the person who died, family. Was it right to have taken someone else's life just to save his lover? He wasn't sure; one thing was certain this was a line he didn't want to ever have to cross again.

Several hours later, Magnus heard his phone ring from beside his bed. Swallowing hard, Magnus picked up the phone. Isabelle was on the other end.

"He's alive."

**Sorry it's kind of short, and it's taken me so long to update, just been going through a lot lately and haven't had much time to update, hopefully that will be changing soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Liz**


	6. Chapter 6

Light in Darkness

Chapter 6

Magnus breathed a sigh of relief; he was glad that the ritual had indeed worked. He pushed the guilt out of his mind; he had gotten what he'd wanted, he couldn't focus on the negative aspect of the ritual. Magnus wondered if Alec remembered the words he'd said, how he had broken his heart. Somehow he didn't think Alec would even want to see him, after everything that had happened.

"Magnus?" he heard Isabelle say from the other end of the phone. "He's been asking about you, if that's what you're worried about, he wants to see you again." _How could he? _Magnus thought _how could he want to be anywhere near me after the things I've said and done to hurt him, it's my fault he died._

_ "_You were also the one who brought him back too" Isabelle said as if reading his thoughts. "If it wasn't for you, he would even be here now, so if he still means anything to you at all, come see him." Magnus stared at the phone in his hand. Could it be true? Did Alec really want to see him, after everything? Magnus could only hope so. Sighing, he decided he would go see if he really wanted him there. His heart raced at the thought of seeing Alec. He knew that he deserved to be forever separated from him, but he still couldn't help the way his heart beat anxiously in his chest. He wondered what condition Alec would be in. would he be one hundred percent better, or would he grow better over time. He hoped it was instantaneously better but he would take whatever he could get.

Leaving his apartment, he hailed a cab to take him to the institute. The closer they got the more nervous Magnus grew. After the words he'd told Alec before Alec had been attacked, and then his refusal to come help; he didn't expect Alec to be too warm towards him. Of course, that was nothing less than he deserved, and he knew it. Still, he hoped that Alec wouldn't care that he was there.

Once he arrived, Magnus swallowed hard and dragged himself out of the cab. It was now or never, one way or the other he would learn the true depth of Alec's feelings. Paying the cabdriver, Magnus turned and headed towards what looked like an abandoned church, he truly knew it to be the Institute, however.

The door opened at his first knock, Magnus stood with his fist in the air, to find Isabelle waiting impatiently.

"Come on already, he's been asking about you." she muttered as Magnus walked in. she slammed the door shut then headed towards the elevator.

"He doesn't hate me does he?" Magnus asked curiously as he fell into step beside Isabelle.

"No, in fact he can't even remember being attacked at all, much less the fight that took place before he was attacked." Magnus frowned, he wasn't sure if that was normal or not. He would have to do a little more research on the ritual when he got home. He should have exercised a little more caution when using it, but at the time the only thing Magnus cared about was bringing Alec back to life.

When they reached the room, Isabelle opened the door and let Magnus in.

"I'll be out here, holler if you need me." Magnus nodded glad that he would get to spend some private time with Alec. He needed to know what was going on, just how much damage he'd caused.

"Magnus, is that you?" Alec asked from where he lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Yes," Magnus replied "I'm here."

"What took you so long to come see me?" Alec asked turning to look at Magnus.

"I wasn't sure that you wanted to see me, not after I said some pretty terrible words to you."

"I'll always want you with me, no matter what words you've said. Besides, don't you know, the person you love the most is likely to be the one that hurts you the most?"

"I don't think I like that actually," Magnus said swallowing, and crossing the room to sit at the edge of his bed. "I don't ever like the idea of hurting you, and that's all I've done, you wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for me."

Alec frowned, puzzled.

"I don't even know what happened to get me here, so how do you think it's your fault?"

"Because we got in a fight, and I left and you were attacked" Magnus growled "if I had stayed with you then this wouldn't have happened." Alec shrugged.

"Maybe, maybe not. But I'm a Shadowhunter so it's not like I'm not used to being hurt."

"This was so much worse than just getting hurt." Magnus said turning away, unable to bear the look in Alec's eyes. The look that said he could forgive Magnus anything, even being the cause of his death.

"Know this" Alec said softly, not liking the shame he saw in Magnus' eyes. "I will always love you, nothing or no one is going to be able to change that." He reached out and took Magnus' hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. Magnus could only hope that Alec meant what he said. He just didn't understand how he could.

A few minutes later, the infirmary's door was thrown open and Isabelle raced into the room. Alec and Magnus could both tell that something serious had happened.

"What's wrong?" Alec demanded, wondering if Simon had hurt his sister, and if he had, he would find a way to kill the bat boy.

"It's Clary, she's dead."


End file.
